The Prime Minister of Australia Mr Malcolm Turnbull announced today that he will instruct all Government Departments to cater for all people of all Ethnic backgrounds so that not one person will feel disadvantaged. He will be starting with the toilets after the furor over the squat type toilets in the ATO. Mr Turnbull has ordered that immediately the traditional “thunderbox” to be installed.
The Minister in charge of the ATO Ms Higginbottom said this was a great initiative for the country and should silence any criticism of special or preferential treatment. “We are a multicultural society”s Higginbottom said in a press interview. She went on further to say that they are looking at sites in Parramatta Park for the trial run
Mr Nigel Ratley has it appears been given the task of implementing this policy. He stated he was very keen on the project as it gives him an outlet for his wasted talents in his current position as sanitary supervisor. He said that it would result in massive savings to the public as will allow them to recycle old tax returns instead of shredding these. He stated it was a very “green” initiative as per their policies and as an added bonus, save Parramatta council a lot of money on fertilizer costs. “It’s a win win all around” he stated quite enthusiastically. He went on, “it will provide lots of employment opportunities for a lot of people. People with an artistic streak should apply as a lot of positions will become available. Those with a University Arts degree are particularly encouraged to cut up the old tax returns into exact square shapes and put them on a butchers hook. This critical thinking job will entail a 6 month training course and at the end of it will qualify these people for position of taxation inspectors.
Mr Ratley went on and said this could also prove to be a real “shot in the arm” that was needed for the rural community, instead of old tax returns corn leaves could be used. This is a real incentive and we are proud to be a leader in innovation and employment possibilities. Asked where he researched and got these ideas from he simply stated Facebook. It doesnt stop there he stated. With co-operation from others communal toilets could be built. Just like they have in rural china he gloated.
When asked for their opinions Mr Bob Katter stated its simply a load of shit. Barnaby Joyce said he was all for it and that he and the Prime Minister will set up a trading company to supply all the necessary bits for this project to go ahead. Therese Rudd stated she could through her employment agency in Britain train and provide staff to work at these initiatives and reforms. Mr Turnbull stated we will be a world leader in this field and should provide lots of export dollars and employment.
Mr Nick Xenophon South Australian Senator when asked for his opinion stated simply it will be the same as Labor decides.
Derryn Hinch newly elected Senator from Victoria had a lot more to say about this. Shame, shame shame he said. It will only allow the proliferation of pedophiles and the justice system will go under because of it. It will further allow corruption to run rife and further destabilize the country.
Richard De Natale of the Greens Party was very open about his thoughts. He was embarrassed that the greens didnt think of it however it would be a wonderful idea to incorporate into the highly respected “safe schools” programme. “The Australian public will relish the idea he said and will call on Mr Turnbull to make these compulsory in all schools.
Source: I made this shit up